Thursday, August 28, 2008

Quote of the Day 8/28

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorius triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Reflections On My Birthday!

Here is an awesome quote that I thought was very appropriate considering the contemplative mood I am in today.

"Dying is fairly easy. Little choice is involved. Living well is much more of a challenge. We have choices every moment, and we have to live with the results of our decisions."
- JackIsIn from Rules of Thumb

Today as I cross another generation boundary into my 40's, I am reflecting on where I have been, what I have done and where I still have left to go. To be honest, I don't really feel like I am 40. I am sure that everyone says that, but I am serious. I really don't feel like 40 years have passed since I took my first breath and I certainly don't feel like I have accomplished everything I was put on this Earth to do.

I was going to write a blog the other day entitled "Holey Smoke I am Pregnant!" But LIFE as usual has a way of interrupting my plans. NO! for anyone who is wondering, I am NOT pregnant. I am however an emotional wreck. What I have realized is that training for the Ironman (or not training for the Ironman as has been the case for me lately) is a very very emotional process. Much to my surprise exactly like being pregnant.

Every day brings us options and challenges. Some days, we get the luxury of making a choice other days, the decision is made for us. Last week, my kids came home after 7 weeks of Mom vacation and it was back to the real world for me. I did not realize until I had them in my arms just how much I missed them! It was honestly excruciatingly painful seeing them again, seeing how much they had grown and changed as well as what I had missed over the summer while they were visiting their Dad and his family. I understand that I am extremely lucky that my kids are able to spend several weeks during the summer with their father which gives me a much needed break from being a single mom but do regret I missed some milestones in their lives. Like their trip to see the Jonas Brother's concert, and the first time they were able to ride their ripsticks without help.

It is funny what you miss when they are gone. The morning hugs and kisses when I wake them up, hearing them say Mom I love you and I missed you so much. It is also extremely funny what you DON'T miss when they are gone. Mom, you are the worst Mom ever, It is not fair, she has more than I have, Don't touch me you have cooties......

At any rate, getting the girls back has been a drama filled challenge. The first day of school was Monday, August 18th. The first bad weather day was Tuesday, August 19th. Thanks to the Tropical Storm Faye the rain and possibilities of high winds school was out. So the kids and I were home all day stuck in the house. Back to school for Wednesday and Thursday and then out again on Friday due to the storm. By the end of the week I was pulling my hair out. I had missed several workouts, and was frustrated about that. The kids had not left the house in days so they were getting on my last nerve.

I am scared, very scared. Now is the prime time for my Ironman training program and I cannot get all of my training done. I am so happy my kids are home with me again. I am angry because being a mom is limiting my ability to train. I am angry at myself for being mad about not being able to train. I am sad because I should be over the moon happy that my kids are home, not upset that I cannot train. See I told you I am pregnant! Not being able to train prevents me from having an outlet for all of these emotions, not being able to train causes alot of these emotions. What to do?

I spent a long time on the phone with Coach Bill the other night. The reality of the situation is that I am a single mom with limited options as far as training goes. I am NOT training to win, I am training to finish with a smile on my face. I have to take my training one day at a time and do the best I can. That is all I can do. There will be days where I will miss my workouts because I need to stay home and be a mom. There will be days when I have crappy workouts because I am a mom. BUT... the MOST IMPORTANT thing is that I AM A MOM! When I cross the finish line on November 1st, 2008 and I WILL cross the finish line, my daughters will be waiting there for me! They are my biggest cheerleaders and I could not do this without them!

I am pasting my quote of the day in here again for reinforcement:

"Dying is fairly easy. Little choice is involved. Living well is much more of a challenge. We have choices every moment, and we have to live with the results of our decisions."
- JackIsIn from Rules of Thumb

We make choices every day. Some days our choices are the right choices and some days they are not. What matters most is how we live with the decisions that we make. Completing the Ironman will be very painful for me. I know that but the decision I made to become a mom is going to be worth every bit of that pain. My daughters will learn from me that they can do anything they want. They can be anything they want to be. Yes there are sacrifices I have to make, a faster time, a less painful journey, but when I cross that finish line and run into their arms...


I love you Kelsie and Hannah! Thank you for allowing me to be your Mom!

Have a great day my friends!


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Quote of the Day 8/12/-8

"You can quit, and no one will care if you do. But you will always know."
~John Collins, Ironman founder~

Monday, August 11, 2008

Terlits and Tribulations

Wow it has been forever since I have written a blog. Sorry to all my fans! HAHA! I have been crazy busy and just have not had time. However today I decided that I need to catch everyone up on what has been happening with me.

It is Monday, August 11th. My 40th birthday is August 26th. I cannot believe that I am almost 40. Time flies when you are having fun! I am going to run the Virginia Beach Rock and Roll Half Marathon on August 31st to celebrate my birthday. Yes I know why run 13.1 miles to celebrate my birthday? Well just to say I can and I did? To spend some quality time with my closest friends? To get back to my running roots? Well I say Yes to all of the above. It is going to be a blast. I don't think the race is sold out yet, so if you are not doing anything Labor Day weekend, sign up and run/walk with us!

What else has been going on with me? Well I am still training for the Ironman. Everyday is a challenge. Some days are a step or two forward and other days are a step or two back. Recently there have been many days when I question both a.) my sanity and b.) what I was thinking when I signed up to run this race. I vacillate between knowing I can finish albeit slowly and thinking there is no way in Hades I will ever get to the finish line. This weekend was one of the latter days.

The "Iron" crew headed to Panama City Beach for what was supposed to be a race simulation long bike ride and run with a little open water ocean swimming thrown in. Well as par for the course for me lately, I was completely nervous and had a terrible ride. I did not make the distance I wanted to make and could not keep any food down. Great start to my training weekend. On top of everything else that was occurring and not occurring that morning, I had a great experience at the first pit stop.

For those of you that have known me for a few years, I have a redneck magnet somewhere inside my body. As a matter of fact, if there is a redneck within twenty miles of me, they will find me and ask me out. Forget waiting on Brad Pitt. LOL. My dream guy apparently likes to drink Milwaukee's Best from a brown paper bag on Saturday morning at 9am. So while stopped at the BP pit stop, and while puking my guts up, I was asked on a date! Oh well, I must be a closet redneck and not even know it. Either that or I have a sign that says - "Please ask me out I am desperate!" written on my forehead.

On Sunday, I did not even attempt to run, my stomach was still sour from the day before. I decided that I would just get in some swimming instead. Rick and I got dressed and made our way down to the beach. Guess what the first thing that we saw upon stepping into the ocean? A JELLYFISH. This was no little stinger either. It had to be 8-10 inches long. Of course I freaked out! Rick being much calmer than I told me not to worry it was probably just a one-off and to go ahead and swim. Well so much for that idea. By the time we made it out to the third buoy, we had seen quite a few jellyfish, one that was at least 4 feet long. At the buoy, Rick made the executive decision to swim back to the shore and cut our distance short. While I was a bit disappointed, he was right to do that because no sooner than I had started swimming in, I felt a sharp sting to my wrist and a couple of feet later one to my knee. Yes FOLKS! I had been stung. What luck I tell you. I swam to shore as fast as I could and got out of the water. We quick went to the hot tub and to get a bit of relief to my stings and NO RICK DID NOT PEE ON ME! Although I have heard this is a great remedy, I was not in the mood to be pee'ed on.

After a quick soak we made our way back to the hotel room, showered packed and headed out to begin the drive back to Orlando. We all were exhausted. None of us more so that my partner in crime, Missey. For some reason she seemed to think she was still on her bike and was driving down the bike lane on the side of the road. Of course I had to give her a hard time which ended up backfiring on me as she pulled over at the first gas station and handed me the keys. Yup! I just teased my way into driving back to Orlando. Woo-Hoo!

Since we were stopped, I decided to make a quick run to the bathroom. Of course Missey had to give me a hard time and ask me if I needed a "terlit"? This I have since found out, means Toilet in Redneck. LOL. "Terlit" became the new joke for the next 200 miles or so. Needless to say, Missey had better watch her back this Christmas. You never know what might end up under the Christmas tree if she is lucky and I am so inclined.

Of course paybacks are hell and for the next couple of hours every time I passed a semi-truck I had Debbie roll down her window and make the universal sign for truckers to HONK. Missey was MORTIFIED. We were laughing HYSTERICALLY. It was awesome. A perfectly good Range Rover loaded to the gills with expensive bikes and bike equipment getting semi-trucks to honk at us. I am not sure that any of us will ever forget this trip home. Can a Range Rover driver be a redneck? LOL.

My daughters come home this weekend and school starts on Monday. I have missed them dearly and cannot wait to see them but WOW another thing to juggle. Some days I have no idea how I can do it all! Thankfully their grandparents have done most of the pre-school shopping and I will just have to pick up and few odds and ends. I will post pictures when they get back so you all can see how big they have grown while they were gone.

Wish me luck this week as I continue on my journey! I will keep you all posted. Hopefully a little more frequently than I have been able to do lately.

Take Care!